Fierce Women Dish

an artist, a journalist, an activist, a psychologist, a student, and a diva place a cup of nourishment on the table.

Women hurting other women… June 9, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — fiercewomen @ 10:38 pm

Hello Fierce Women of the world!  Our topic this week is: 

“What are women doing on an individual basis to make life harder for all of us?”



Passing down their bad body image stuff! If you are having trouble with your own body image issues, as we all do from time to time, please refrain from commenting outloud about this. It brings everyone down around you, and besides, there may be a younger  more impressionable woman  around that is getting confirmation that this is the way women should bond. We all need to realize our personal stake in this and take action;  chatting it up with girlfriends over whose thighs are bigger helps NO ONE. Just stop doing it. We all fight the negatives in our head…but wage your battle on your own—don’t feel like you need to share it with everyone around you—it’s really bad juju.



Trying so darn hard to be perfect and then acting like it was easy.  Many women work incredibly hard be perfect, whether it’s in having the perfect home or the perfect career or the perfect body or the perfect style.  Then, they act like it was a walk in the park getting there instead of being honest about the effort it took.  This just furthers the myth that how things look on the outside is more important than the life behind the image.  .  .



Along this same topic, if you have had plastic surgery or any other type of elective procedure, be like Patricia Heaton and just cop to it.  Don’t be coy about it– just admit it. Her honesty was so refreshing to me, especially for a person in the entertainment biz.  It sends the EXACT wrong message to say, for example, that you lost weight in a short amount of time through very focused diet and exercise, when it really was via weight loss surgery or lipo. It feeds the myth that there is a fast easy way to weight loss if you just ‘work really hard to get your body back’… and there  isn’t.



Probably one of our most divisive behaviors is when we believe that there is a certain way of being in the world that is best and then judge and scrutinize others based on what our prescription for being in the world is.  We can be our best when we allow women of all types, backgrounds, personalities, and styles the room and capacity to be their best.  Just because we do or don’t want something for our selves doesn’t mean that someone else should.  I’d love to see the women of the world devote their energy to justice, not judging. 



Agreeing to cheat. Respect the relationship status of other people. If you are currently in one where one or both parties believes the relationship  to be monogamous…don’t sneak around or step out, even if you think you won’t get caught. Am I naive in thinking that women could put an end to a lot of cheating if we just respected each other’s decisions and relationships a little more?



Women/ girls who wear those adversarial mean girl tee shirts. Why would anyone wear a shirt that says “Oops, I kissed your boyfriend” or “It’s not easy being easy” is really not furthering anything but animosity and rude behavior. Which I am becoming more and more convinced (*sigh*) just feeds right into what a lot of the general populace wants to see (Girl fight! Girl fight!).  It’s just disrespectful and puts negativity out into the universe. There’s enough there already, thanks much.


2 Responses to “Women hurting other women…”

  1. Veronica Says:

    When women shut the door on other women…You know, that woman who “made it” and now relishes in being “the woman” or even “the woman of color” and pushes down any other woman who tries to enter the room.

    All great answers!!

    • Dee Dee Bee Says:

      Is anyone else out there experiencing what I am experiencing? I can’t catch a break from another women in the business world. Where men bend over backwards to help each other out, further perpetuating the “good ole boys network”, women continue to screw each other at every turn. I know there must be many other intelligent, qualified and credentialled women out there who cannot get another women to hire them. I understand part of the issue. There are so fewer women in mid and especially senior level positions that they hold onto them with a death grip, and just do not want to hire another female for fear of competition. Granted there are a lot of competitive men out there, but they still hire other men. And the women aren’t subtle about it. I’d like to get some dialogue going here. Wake up ladies! Oh, yes, the men are responsible for the glass ceiling, and you know it still very much exists. But how will it ever change if women don’t help other qualified women get into leadership positions? I think many women, not all but still way too many, in positions to be able to help turn the tide or at least bring some balance to the situation forget all too fast how hard it is once they make it. I’m not suggesting to hire people not fully qualified for a job. But let’s face it, men get hired based on their “potential” to do a job, and women get hired (by men) only after they can prove it. So cut another woman a break and hire her! Stop the insanity for crying out loud!

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